Envious Comrades
by Raquelle Rox
Summary: Ziva and McGee begin to feel that even though Abby is thought to be Gibbs's favourite, Gibbs often favours Tony over them and a jealousy arouses. Will Gibbs be able to clear the misunderstanding or is there some truth behind the envy? Will everything to back to normal or will Team Gibbs crumble under a burden of resentment?
1. Chapter 1

**ENVIOUS COMRADES**

 **Author's Note: Please Review!**

 **Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.**

 **Summary:** Ziva and McGee begin to feel that even though Abby is thought to be Gibbs's favourite, Gibbs often favours Tony over them and a jealousy arouses. Will Gibbs be able to clear the misunderstanding or is there some truth behind the envy? Will everything to back to normal or will Team Gibbs crumble under a burden of resentment?

 **X**

 **Chapter 1: David's Destructive Day**

Ziva David was infuriated!

For the first time in twelve years, Ziva had overslept. She had then spilled coffee onto her shirt, further delaying her. Thus, she had had to skip breakfast in her haste to arrive to work on time. To make her day worse, her cavity had chosen today to go from mildly stinging to excruciatingly painful and the fact that she could not find a single lead on this case wasn't helping much.

She had spent the past two hours, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her left molar, with nothing to show for it except a rapid decline of her mood. Furthermore, Tony wasn't himself today. When she had arrived at the bullpen, fifteen minutes late, she had expected Tony to mock her with jibes like "Miss Perfect ain't so perfect" or "Look whose finally here, late night? Hot date?" However, Tony hadn't even spared her a glance, working diligently at his desk as if he hadn't even noticed her arrival. Throughout the day, Tony had not said any word that wasn't directly related to the case; no jokes aimed at McGee, no sharing the unwanted and unnecessary details of how his weekend had gone, not even a movie reference. At first, Ziva had welcomed the new change in Tony's attitude as a gift from God but had soon realised that Tony's endless chatter would have distracted her from her painful toothache and perhaps improved her mood as well. The one day that Tony's babbling could be of use to her, he had to give it a break!

Ziva continued to rant in her mind, paying half an ear to Gibbs's lecture whilst McGee paid rapt attention to detail and DiNozzo seemed to be focusing to Ziva's unsuspecting gaze. "Lieutenant Joe Hawkes was on a thirty-day leave…" _Seriously it is as if Tony is mocking me. After the countless times I have complained about his non-stop banter, annoying movie quotes and childish jokes, the day that they may have given me a source of distraction, he decides to adhere to my wishes._ "He had the same stab wounds as the drug dealer Larry Miller who was found two days ago at…" _Of all the days for my tooth to betray me, why did it have to be today? After years of Mossad training, how is it that I cannot tolerate an aching cavity…_ Snapping out of her reverie just in time to hear Gibbs bark out an order for her to find a link between the drug dealer and the dead marine, Ziva quipped an "On it" right on cue.

"McGee, check whether Hawkes had a drug problem," Gibbs said.

"Got it, boss," McGee replied, already typing diligently on his keyboard.

"DiNozzo, interview his colleagues."

Upon receiving no response from Tony, Gibbs called out "DiNozzo" but received no reply once more; Tony seemed to be daydreaming. Ziva closed her eyes briefly, anticipating the searing head slap and sharp rebuke in her partner's future. However, her eyes flew open when Gibbs called out loudly, yet with a concerned tone, "Tony, you okay?"

"Huh? Oh…yes boss. Sorry Boss. I'm on it." Tony then walked out of the bullpen, shoulders slumped. _Probably feeling embarrassed at getting caught day dreaming about an undoubtedly hot date._

So focused was she in her own problems that Ziva had not spared a single thought to the source of Tony's out of character behaviour. McGee had asked Tony about it, but after receiving a rare deathly glare and a _recommendation_ to get back to work, he had dropped the topic.

After spending an hour and a half trying to find a connection between the dead marine Lieutenant Joe Hawkes and a drug dealer Larry Miller with no success, Ziva decided to give up for the day, head over to the dentist appointment that she had told Gibbs about last week and perhaps tomorrow, with a fresh mind and lifted spirits, she'd have better luck. Making up her mind, she rose from her desk, exiting the bullpen, only to be stopped by Gibbs voice calling out "Where do you think you're going? Did you get a lead?"

Ziva had suspected that Gibbs would forget and had been prepared. "I am headed out to the dentist appointment that I told you about last week. Remember?"

To Ziva's utter dismay and growing irritation, Gibbs barked "Oh, no, you aren't. This case is important. Your teeth can wait." At Ziva's lack of movement, Gibbs snarled "Unless you have a heart attack, you aren't going anywhere. Get back to work. You too, McGee." Gibbs said, directing his head towards the junior agent that had stopped typing to listen in on what was happening at his boss's desk. "Yes, boss," McGee replied meekly. Ziva on the other hand, was anything but ashamed. In fact, she was furious. Her tooth was killing her and she had asked Jenny for the day off and had informed Gibbs about the appointment beforehand. Yet, he was refusing to let her go. It was so unfair, just because Tony had misused his trust and faked dentist appointments to meet up with his girlfriend, Jeanne, didn't mean that she would too.

However, knowing when to give up, Ziva said no more and stomped over to her desk, plopping onto her chair with an irritated huff that an equally frustrated Gibbs decided to ignore in a rare bout of sympathy. If any of the boys had shown half of the attitude that Ziva just had, he would have chewed them out but Ziva was stubborn and Gibbs wasn't in the mood to pick a fight.

After about ten minutes or so of staring at her computer, willing her temper to calm down, Ziva found a lead. "Gibbs, the wife had a drug problem and was charged ten years ago for possession. Guess who her source was?"

"Larry," Gibbs supplied.

Her mood finally slightly lifting, she nodded enthusiastically. May be some field work would keep her mind off the aching in her tooth.

"Alright, go pick her up. Take McGee."

As Ziva and McGee headed out of the bullpen, Tony returned from interviewing Hawkes' colleagues and for the first time that day, Ziva got a good look at him; Tony was slightly pale, his eyes dazed and instead of the playboy grin, a slight frown creased his face as he walked over to Gibbs's desk and asked quietly "Hey boss, umm…. can I…umm…can I have the day off today?"

Feeling bad for Tony and well aware of the mood that Gibbs was in, Ziva opened her mouth to intervene before Gibbs could berate Tony as he had done her moments ago, frankly Tony didn't look like he could take it today, but before a single word could escape her mouth, Gibbs spoke, in a surprisingly gentle voice "Sure. Go ahead."

In his haste to leave the building before Gibbs changed his mind, Tony failed to notice a gobsmacked Ziva observing the scene with growing outrage.

After overcoming her initial shock at both Gibbs's tone and the answer, Ziva seethed silently all the way to the wife's home and back.

 _How could Gibbs just let Tony take the day off with no excuse, no previous notice and a history of faking doctor and dentist appointments to see Jeanne when he had, quite harshly, refused to let me go to a scheduled dentist appointment!_

 _Gibbs may cut Abby leeway every now and then, but at this moment Gibbs is definitely favouring Tony over me._

 _It isn't fair!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you JimChou, DS2010, TracyTravis, victoriantealady, Astrahan, athea781 and chemmom4 for the amazing reviews. Thanks everyone for liking, favouriting and following my story.**

 **If you enjoy reading Envious Comrades, you may also like my NCIS fanfic 'Atta Boy!' Please check it out.**

 **Sorry for taking so long to update but hopefully the next chapter will be up pretty soon. Read and Review!**

 **Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Tony's Traumatic Troubles**

Tony drove along the streets of Washington DC as if on autopilot, lost in thought. He had suspected that Gibbs would have let him take the day off as he was privy of Tony's _problem_. However, it was still difficult for Tony to ask, a part of him afraid that Gibbs might misunderstand the situation as an excuse to run off to some girl as he had done with Jeanne so many times before, even though the logical part of his brain knew that Gibbs would understand as he always had, after all it had been Gibbs who had offered him to take a leave yesterday.

Despite being tired, confused and frankly broken, though he wouldn't admit that to even himself, there was still a part of him that didn't want to go home, a part of him that wanted to be close to Gibbs…and Abby and Ziva and McGee…his family, a part of him that wanted to confide in them as he had convinced himself to do to Gibbs despite the embarrassment and depression even thinking about _that_ caused him. It was difficult for Tony to trust, thanks to his abysmal childhood. Yet he trusted Ziva and McGee. In fact, Tony considered them family as they had earned their place in Tony's heart, but he just couldn't tell them the one thing that he couldn't face himself. Some secrets couldn't be shared with anyone; even family. Speaking of which, Tony had been surprised that Ziva hadn't noticed that something was amiss with him. He had intended to put on his strongest mask that morning and pretend that he was fine, but truth be told, upon entering the office building, he could not summon enough energy to put on a jovial façade whilst drowning in sorrow and misery on the inside, thus, he did the next best thing: he pretended to be invisible; it had always worked in his childhood. He had avoided seeing Abby the best he could as he knew that she would succumb to worry were she to see him in his current state of mind and he had been able to shut McGee up with a few harsh words that he would apologise for tomorrow, but Ziva….

He had expected to Ziva to snap in an hour of his charade, if not sooner, and demand to be told what the matter was. Ziva had always seemed to connect with Tony's emotions; she had sensed Tony's distress after the nasty break-up with Jeanne, she always caught onto Tony's true feelings despite his best efforts to keep them buried. Ziva had always been able to detect and, to some extent, mollify his misery. Yet today, she had not even noticed.

* * *

As Tony sat on the recliner in the living room of his apartment, a place he had considered his sanctuary till yesterday, he seemed oblivious to the movie playing on the television a few feet in front of him and the cold slice of pizza clutched in Tony's right hand had remained untouched. The seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned to hours, yet Tony did not move a muscle. He remained stiff on his comfortable recliner, his tie loose around his neck, one shoe off his foot, lying a good two feet away from when he had thrown it upon arriving to _his home_. With nothing to distract himself, Tony's mind wandered off to yesterday afternoon; the beginning of this mess.

 _Tony was watching the movie 'Top Gun', one of his all-time favourites, quite content with his chicken burger and soda, suspecting that this day would shape out like any other lazy Sunday afternoon. If only he had known then, how wrong he was._

 _As Tony took a long sip of his drink, preparing himself for his favourite part, a sudden firm knock sounded at the door. Grumbling, he reluctantly left the comfort of his plush sofa and went to answer the door. Tony did not know who he was expecting to see but he was most definitely not expecting an elderly gentleman, clad in a silk Italian suit to be standing on his doorstep with a smirk on his face and a hefty suitcase in his hand._

" _D…d…Dad?" Tony stammered as the man he hadn't expected to see so soon after he had helped NCIS on a case (Season 8-Broken Arrow) stood waiting to be let in._

 _Taking a deep breath and squelching the anxiety he felt at seeing his father unexpectedly, Tony asked calmly "What are you doing here?"_

' _He couldn't have gotten into trouble already, could he?' Tony thought with a growing worry._

" _I was in town on a business trip and thought I would stop by. Thought you would like to know that I've prospered, and you need no longer worry about me being broke. Now then, can I come in, Junior?"_

" _Umm…yeah...yes, of course" Tony replied hesitantly as he moved aside to allow his father to enter. Tony wasn't so sure he believed his father. It couldn't be a coincidence that he just happened to be in town, but if money was no longer a problem, then why? Could he have gotten into legal trouble and came to seek help? Could he be a suspect in an ongoing case? But with money came lawyers so that couldn't be an issue. There was a possibility that he may be a victim of a lethal illness and wanted to see his sole son. However, it was much more likely that he was running away from an ex-wife or towards a future one._

 _Or perhaps Tony was just being paranoid; his father could just be visiting him. He didn't need a reason to visit his only son, right? After all, his father had been trying and they had decided, upon their last meeting a month ago, to attempt to fix their broken relationship. Perhaps Senior was doing just that. Perhaps he was trying to change, to be better, to treat him, Tony, better. "Junior, get my bag."_

' _Huh,' Tony sighed softly and as he carried the suitcase to his apartment and shut the door behind him, he whispered to himself "Old habits die hard."_

* * *

Forcing himself to take a few bites of his burger, Tony glanced at the watch on his wrist and decided to call it a night; he needed to be on his A game tomorrow, at work. However, even as he lay in bed, sleep would not claim him; his mind continued to go over the trauma that the innocent Sunday had unleashed for Tony DiNozzo.

 _Tony was surprised at how successful the day had gone so far. He had been able to spend four hours in his father's company and they had gone by pleasurably with father and son talking about movies and sports. This had to be a new record._

However, good times don't last and Tony's moment with his father lasted all of four hours and twelve minutes.

 _As DiNozzo Senior licked off the last scraps of his dinner and DiNozzo Junior picked up the plates and headed to the kitchen to wash them, Tony couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, things between them could change for the better. He began to wash the plates by the sink, his back turned away from the kitchen door, his face alight with a small smile on his face and a slight hope of making peace with his father blossoming in his chest._

 _His hopes were soon ruined when his father strode into the kitchen and commented "You know Junior, you should hire a maid to do menial work." Tony closed his eyes in horror as he heard his father's seemingly harmless statement. Things were only going to go south from there, he just knew it!_

 _And Senior, blissfully unware of his son's look of hopelessness as Tony was turned away from him, did just as his son had predicted. Following what seemed like a harmless comment, DiNozzo Senior continued with stories of the mansions that he had resided in, the fleets of staff members at his service and the moments of luxury in his life. He had resisted for so long but with a simple comment, his bragging nature was unleashed and for the better part of the next hour, Tony was forced to listen as his father relived his proudest moments, none of which Tony seemed to be a part of. Groaning inwardly, Tony remained silent and paid half an ear to his father's ramble as he continued to rinse the dirty plates._

 _The bragging soon evolved to criticism of Tony's shortcomings and wrong decisions, regarding both his lifestyle and career and though it depressed Tony to hear his father speak so lowly of every aspect of his life, he endured the undeserved tongue-lashing in silence as he knew that any justification on his part would be futile for his father would disregard anything that he were to say entirely._

" _Really, Junior, you should make more of your life. Honestly, you call this shabby hovel a home! And don't even get me started on your lame excuse for a boss. That wretched, foul, arrogant man. I honestly don't know how you tolerate him. You wouldn't believe the way he speaks to me...that no good piece of filth; I tell you..." but before Senior could continue his tirade of disgracing Gibbs, Tony abruptly spun around to face him, and his intimidating growl silenced Senior immediately. "Don't you dare say one more word against Gibbs. I get that you aren't happy with the career I chose and how I choose to live out my days. And I know that you wanted a mini-you which I am not. I can accept your disappointment in me and I can stand your taunts and jibes about my life. But leave Gibbs out of it!"_

 _After snapping out of his shocked state, Senior stood up to his full height, which was still half a foot shorter than Tony's, and spoke in a menacing whisper "How dare you defend…him?! I am your father, boy! And you are going to disrespect me for some stranger. He is nothing but a…"_

 _The rest of Senior's words drowned in Tony's yell "He is more than you will ever be. He was there for me when you weren't! He…" Tony trailed off, unsure of what to say next but as he saw his father open his mouth in outrage, the fire in his eye piercing and his face incandescent with rage, Tony finished with a whisper "He's family."_

 _Senior had been ready to berate his son until his ears bled but the softly spoken yet clear comment had the effect of paralysing him with shock for the second time that evening._

 _As the seconds ticked by, both DiNozzos stared at each other in resolute silence, neither breaking eye contact until finally DiNozzo Senior's cold snarl broke the silence and continued to echo around the room, ringing in Tony's ears "You! What would you know about family? After what you did to your mother, you don't get to judge me!"_

 _With that, Senior tore his eyes away from his son and exited the kitchen, leaving a stunned Tony behind._

* * *

 _After spending fifteen minutes alone in the silence of the kitchen, Tony slowly headed towards the living room, slightly dazed. His father had not mentioned the incident with his mother in years, the last time they had had an argument like this, Tony had succumbed to conflicting feelings of self-pity and self-hatred for months before he had finally buried the memory and lived on with his life. Though he had not moved on, not really. To this day, Tony had not yet spoken of his mother or her death and no one but his father knew the truth or what it seemed to be. After years of wearing masks of nonchalance and the pretence of a clown to bury his guilt and grief, a simple comment from his father's vile mouth unleashed the sorrow that Tony had worked so hard to bury deep within himself in hopes that it would be forgotten by all, especially himself. But his father's words awoke the memory as if it was one of yesterday; his mother's dazzling green eyes glazed with tears, her bloody hand covering her wounded torso, the frozen shock plastered on her face…NO!_

 _He couldn't think of her anymore…He needed to be alone…to think...no, to forget!_

 _Seeking solace and needing to put some distance between himself and the place where his father's hurtful words were spoken, Tony entered the living room only to find his father sipping black coffee on the sofa._

" _Ah, Junior. Those dishes took you forever to wash. Come and join me for some coffee, would you?" Senior said oh-so-casually._

 _Tony had been hoping that Senior would stomped on out of the apartment in a fit of anger, but he should have known better. That's what dear old dad always did! Throughout his childhood, his father would occasionally unleash his pent-up frustration by verbally berating his son and once calmed, he would pretend as if nothing had happened; as if he hadn't crushed his son's self-esteem and shattered his heart moments ago. Tony had had no choice but to tolerate it then, but he couldn't take the masks, the façade, the fake relationship anymore. He had really hoped that his strained relationship with his father could be improved, that his father could change and make up for all the past mistakes with new choices; better choices. But he had had enough!_

 _With a glare as cold as it gets, Tony turned around and marched out of the apartment without sparing a word to his father; he just wasn't worth it!_

" _Junior…Junior!" his father spluttered but was met with no answer but the slamming of a door and the sound of a roaring engine a few moments later._

 _His son…Tony was not coming back, at least not tonight. Without the comfort of a quiet home, there was only one place that could provide Tony relief from his sudden grief, guilt and depression at losing not only his mother but his father as well. Pushing the thoughts of having to go to work tomorrow out of his mind, Tony headed straight for the bar._

* * *

As Gibbs sat at his desk, processing the fact that the wife had been found guilty with forensic evidence stacked up against her, Gibbs briefly glanced at the empty desk of _Very_ Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. With a slight smile, Gibbs thought that if Tony were here, he would flash that arrogant smirk and make an egoistic statement about his _DiNozzo Theory_ : something about the wife always being guilty when money was involved. But then again, he wouldn't. Not today.

And with that, Gibbs's thoughts strayed away from the case and towards the events of yesterday evening.

 _Gibbs was sanding his boat after a late dinner of a beef steak, his mind clear and all thoughts centred on the task at hand when his cell phone gave a sudden shrill shriek. Grumbling to himself about murdering the caller if the call was not important, Gibbs headed towards the work bench and picked up the device. With thoughts of strangling the person who dared call him on a weekend at ten in the night no less, Gibbs flipped open the cell phone but before he could so much as open his mouth, Tony's slurred speech greeted his ears and paralysed Gibbs with shock. It wasn't the fact that Tony was clearly drunk that shocked Gibbs for he had seen enough DiNozzo hangovers to last a lifetime, but rather the words that came from Tony's mouth and echoed around Gibbs's head, his brain refusing to process what they meant. "G…Gibbs. I did it. I k…k…killed my mom!"_


	3. The Chaos Continues

**Author's Note: Thank you JimChou, DS2010, TracyTravis, victoriantealady, ShadowWolf's Fables and guest for the amazing reviews. Thanks everyone for liking, favouriting and following my story.**

 **If you enjoy reading Envious Comrades, you may also like my NCIS fanfic 'Atta Boy!' Please check it out.**

 **Sorry for taking so long to update but I hope I made up for it by posting a long chapter. Read and Review!**

 **Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: The Chaos Continues**

Gibbs gave a deep sigh of relief. With the case all wrapped up and the culprit safe behind bars, he was done for the day. Finally, he could go to Tony's place and provide the company that Tony undoubtedly needed. He had been distracted the entire day with worry for Tony, not that he would admit it to himself. He really hoped that after the state that he had found Tony in yesterday, he hadn't been stupid enough to go the bar yet again today. Who knew how the kid was coping! Honestly, if it were up to him, he would string DiNozzo Senior up by his toes. With the intention of getting to Tony as soon as possible, a coffee-deprived, worry-ridden Gibbs made a beeline for the elevator with a determined glare in his eye and the speed of a cheetah in his stride. _Don't worry Tony. I really hope that I don't find you drunk at the bar for both our sakes! I just need to see Tony. There is no need to worry; he is a tough kid. Just because he happened to take the day off doesn't mean that he hasn't put himself together yet. But what if DiNozzo Senior shows up at Tony's apartment again?! Oh, Tony, I'm coming. I'm…oomph!_

Gibbs was snapped out of his reverie when he clashed into someone who dared to block the entrance to the elevator. With mounting rage and increasing aggravation, Gibbs looked into the eyes of his victim, ready to lash out at whoever had dared to disrupt Gibbs's path, only to find that the source of his ire was none other than…Ziva.

* * *

As Ziva exited the lift after logging in all the evidence, she spotted Gibbs heading in her direction and decided to apologize for her petulant attitude. She understood that her presence was essential during an ongoing investigation and a toothache could be looked at later, though she still couldn't comprehend any reason for Gibbs allowing Tony the day off aside from plain favouritism. Intending to clear things out with Gibbs and asking him flatly the reason for allowing Tony to leave, Ziva blocked Gibbs's path. What she wasn't expecting was Gibbs crashing right into her. He must really be exhausted if he didn't see her standing right in front of him. As Gibbs focused his eyes on her, she expected to see mild irritation and some surprise, but she was shocked at the lethal rage that oozed out of his eyes and his bark that reverberated off the walls "David! Get out of my way."

And with that, Gibbs roughly pushed past her and entered the elevator, slamming the ground floor button. Ziva stood paralysed for a moment. She could admit that perhaps she had been slightly disrespectful that afternoon when Gibbs had flatly refused to let her go to her dentist appointment, but she hadn't expected Gibbs to show such an extent of fury; not towards her. Gibbs had always been dismissive of her petulance and disrespect and usually didn't confront her unless her behaviour had been extremely abysmal. _Relax, Ziva. He has had a long day and probably wants to return home to his boat and bourbon as quickly as possible. He couldn't possibly me mad with me, could he? No, he is just tired and cranky. I hope…_

Quickly gathering her stuff, Ziva dashed out of the bullpen, avoiding the curious glances and hushed whispers directed at her by most of the agents on the level as Gibbs's temper had not gone unnoticed by anyone on the entire floor and most agents were wondering exactly what Agent David had done to incur Gibbs's ire. As Ziva walked through the parking lot towards her car, her thoughts occupied with the dismissive way Gibbs had treated her, she noticed Gibbs's car in the parking lot and next to it was one frustrated Leroy Jethro Gibbs. With a peaking curiosity, Ziva changed course and headed towards Gibbs instead. "Gibbs, everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just peachy. I just love to stand out in the cold with my car's bonnet up, enjoying the weather." Ziva winced at Gibbs's cutting sarcastic comment.

This did not go unnoticed by Gibbs. As she raised her eyes, silently and subtly scrutinising Gibbs, she noticed him visibly restraining his anger…no worry? Though the source of this _emotion_ was a mystery to Ziva. Intent on prying it out of Gibbs, Ziva spoke softly "If your car has broken down, I will be happy to give you a lift."

"Mm..." Gibbs mumbled as he began to make his way towards Ziva's car with Ziva jogging to keep up with his long strides.

As they settled into Ziva's car and she turned on the ignition, Gibbs said "Listen Ziva, I didn't mean to lash out at you by the elevator. I've just…got a lot on my mind."

At Gibbs's comment, Ziva couldn't help but break out a small smile. This was the closest that the Great Gibbs was ever going to come to an apology and Ziva was more than happy to silently accept it with a nod of her head. As Ziva began driving out of the Navy Yard, Gibbs spoke once again "Thanks for the ride." His single sentence turned Ziva's small smile to a full-out grin, but his next words wiped the grin right out of her face "Oh and I'm not headed home. Just drop me at Tony's. I'll probably spend the night there."

 _So much for rushing home to his boat and bourbon! So, if he wasn't tired and cranky, why snap at me like that? And Tony wasn't sick; McGee or Abby would have told me if he was, so then why was Gibbs going there. I practically had to beg him to come over to my house for a team dinner last week and he certainly never 'spent the night' at my place._ Plastering on a fake smile that didn't reach her eyes, Ziva muttered "Sure."

* * *

The rest of car ride was spent in silence. Ziva had tried to make small talk for the first ten minutes but with little to no response from Gibbs, she had quit trying. Gibbs hadn't wanted to hurt Ziva's feelings, but he really wasn't in the mood for talking. With no more work demanding his full attention, his mind went back to last night.

" _G…Gibbs. I did it. I k…k…killed my mom!" stuttered a drunk Tony._

 _As Tony's strangled voice wafted through the phone's receiver, a rare fright flared up in Gibbs. What on earth was the kid talking about? His mom had died when he was eight, but Tony never really spoke about how her death came about. Had she died protecting Tony or perhaps an accident that Tony blames himself for? Surely Tony could not be involved directly. Whatever had happened, it had happened decades ago, so why would Tony be beating himself about it today. He had seemed fine on Friday and Gibbs knew for a fact that his mother's death anniversary was months away. So, what could have happened in the past 40 hours or so to traumatise Tony and reduce him to a stammering drunken state. What could possibly be wrong with Tony? Whatever it was, now was not the time for Gibbs to ask. His main priority at the moment was getting to Tony as soon as possible. Pulling himself together using years of Marine Corps training, Gibbs spoke calmly, despite the panic churning in his gut, "Tony, Tony, where are you? I'll come get you."_

" _I …I did it! Gibbs! I did it!" Tony's broken sobs escaped from the receiver._

" _Tony, tell me where you are."_

" _It hap…ha…happened so quickly. I cou...couldn't s... stop it!" Tony continued, oblivious to Gibbs's continued efforts to pry out his location._

 _With a deep breath, Gibbs steeled himself. Despite his worry and panic, he knew that there was only one way to calm Tony down before he begins to hyperventilate and make Tony tell him his location immediately._

" _DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked in what the team members called his 'office boss voice'._

" _Where on earth are you?"_

 _After a few seconds of absolute silence, Gibbs began to worry. Perhaps he shouldn't have yelled. Maybe he had scared Tony off. Just as Gibbs was about to dial McGee's number and ask him to track down Tony's cell, a soft whisper graced his ears "At…At the Keckler bar."_

 _At Tony's answer, Gibbs let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding and spoke gently "okay. Stay there and I'll come get you Tony. Alright?"_

" _Y…Yeah."_

" _And no more drinks till I get there," Gibbs continued, allowing a tinge of sternness to coat his tone and he was rewarded with an immediate and meek "Yes boss."_

* * *

 _Upon entering the crowded bar, the repugnant smell of vomit, alcohol and sweat slammed him hard across the face and his eyes squinted to adjust to the dim lighting. This wasn't one of the usual bars that Tony would often go to with friends or colleagues. In fact, this bar wasn't in a nice neighbourhood and was quite far away from Tony's place, so what would he be doing here?_

 _After a few moments of scouring the crowded area, Gibbs finally noticed Tony slumped in one of the chairs, his head in his hands. As Gibbs inched closer to Tony, he noticed that the kid was wearing an old T-shirt and sweat pants, his hair a mess and mismatched shoes on his feet. The kid looked like he had just been plucked up from home and dropped at this repulsive bar._

 _Despite his worries, a small smile crossed his face when Gibbs noticed the lack of a glass by Tony's side. So, the kid can listen..._

 _Gibbs finally reached Tony who seemed oblivious to his presence. Gibbs clamped a hand on Tony's shoulder to inform of him of his arrival and was shocked when his action brought about a flinch from Tony. "Hey…it's just me," Gibbs whispered soothingly._

 _At this, Tony finally looked at him and offered a small smile "hey."_

" _Hey yourself. Come on, let's get you home."_

 _Gibbs was startled when Tony gave a bitter chuckle at his statement and spoke coldly "Home…what home?"_

 _Despite his growing confusion and increasing worry, Gibbs did nothing but offer a warm smile and said "ok then…how about we go to my place. Huh, how does that sound Tony?"_

 _There will be time later to talk._

" _yeah…ok," and with that Tony stood up and started walking shakily out of the pub, Gibbs at his heels, ready to catch him should he fall._

 _Tony remained quiet the entire ride to Gibbs's house, alarming Gibbs more and more by the second. Tony was chatty when sober but when drunk no force on the planet could seal his lips. Yet, here it was: a perfectly silent and still Tony, sitting next to him for the past half an hour, staring resolutely at the dashboard._

 _As they entered the house, Gibbs sat Tony down on the couch and went to prepare the guest room. He arrived ten minutes later to find Tony sound asleep on the sofa. With the care no one thought him capable of, Gibbs gently adjusted Tony to a comfortable position and draped a blanket over him. He then placed a bucket at the foot of the sofa and a bottle of water and two aspirins on the coffee table beside the couch. He then retired to bed himself, leaving the door ajar to be able to hear Tony should he need him. Despite all the tension of the last two or three hours, Gibbs instantly fell asleep, the emotional turmoil of the day taking its toll, with his last thought being a vow to himself to find out the source of Tony's distress._

* * *

" _Huh, huh?" Gibbs exclaimed groggily in bed. Something had woken him up but what it was, he wasn't sure of yet. As if on cue, the sounds of Tony puking in the living room down the hall greeted his ears. Gibbs rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. 3 am. Great._

 _Gibbs entered the living room to find a sweat drenched Tony kneeling on the carpet, his head bent over a bucket clutched in his pale hands as he continued to empty his stomach's contents. Sighing softly, Gibbs made his way towards the younger man. He then kneeled on the carpet and began to rub Tony's back soothingly whilst he heaved. After a while, Tony finally looked up, his back muscles relaxed slightly, and it seemed that the worst had passed. At this, Gibbs reached towards the aspirins and water and handed them to Tony who took them gratefully. Gibbs then hoisted Tony up and sat him down on the couch before silently making his way into the kitchen, coming back moments later with a glass of orange juice and a bowl of heated tin soup which he set on the coffee table and then he himself sat down next to Tony on the sofa._

 _Half an hour passed in silence as Gibbs stared at Tony whilst Tony stared at his feet. Gibbs knew that Tony would only talk when he was ready and judging from the minimum eye contact, he clearly wasn't ready yet. And so, Gibbs waited._

 _Another few minutes passed before Tony raised his head and a whisper escaped his lips and echoed in the otherwise empty house "Thanks Gibbs."_

" _Yeah. You wanna talk about it?" Gibbs probed slightly._

" _There's nothing to talk about. I got drunk and you came and got me."_

" _Tony, your…well, the call…we can't just forget what you said to me on the phone."_

 _At this statement, Tony's gaze found the floor once again and he mumbled "I don't wanna talk about it."_

 _Despite knowing better, Gibbs couldn't help but try to pry some information from Tony and, so he said "Come on Tony, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's bothering you son?"_

 _Hearing the term 'son' come so generally from Gibbs's mouth broke the dam and Tony suddenly clung to Gibbs and began weeping in earnest. As the shock of the kid's abrupt actions wore out, Gibbs put his arms around the boy. He was just about to ask Tony what the matter was again when Tony spoke "I don't deserve it. I don't!"_

 _With his confusion rising still, Gibbs asked as patiently as possible "what don't you deserve son?"_

" _You!" Tony suddenly shrieked, "Why are you so nice to me? I am not a good person Gibbs, I'm not."_

 _Gibbs was truly saddened to hear Tony say such a thing, not to mention confused. "Why, of course you are. Tony, you are one of the best people I have ever met."_

" _No, no, no! You're only saying that because you don't know what I did," Tony insisted and with that Tony began rambling about how he was not worthy of love, care and Gibbs and how he bad a person he was._

" _Tony, Tony, TONY!" Gibbs's raised voice brought an abrupt end to Tony's endless gabble._

" _You are not a bad person. You hear me? You are not a bad person, Tony. You're not. You are caring, talented and an overall wonderful person," Gibbs continued in a soft but firm tone to let Tony know that he was serious._

 _Tony was silent for a few moments digesting Gibbs's statement and Gibbs began to believe that Tony might actually trust what he had just said and calm down but instead he suddenly exclaimed "But Gibbs, It's my fault; I was there! We were going to get_ _ **me**_ _a cake for_ _ **my**_ _birthday._ _ **I**_ _was there when the mugger pointed a gun to_ _ **my**_ _mom's face_ _ **. I**_ _was there she gave him the money._ _ **I**_ _was there when he shot her. And_ _ **I**_ _did nothing, Gibbs. Nothing!" and with that, Tony broke down and began bawling. With a natural ease, Gibbs wrapped the sobbing Tony in his arms and began to rub soothing circles on his back whilst whispering words of comfort in his ears, prepared to wait it out. Judging from his emotional breakdown, Tony still hadn't come to terms with his mother's death and whatever had triggered the memory could be discovered later. Right now, the kid needed to let it all out and Gibbs was going to be there for him no matter how long it would take._

 _Another hour or so later, Tony's sobs evolved to occasional sniffles and his breathing rate returned to normal. He then retreated himself gently from the embrace and fixed his gaze on the floor, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks. He could not believe that he had just broken down in front of Gibbs like an unstable toddler. But it had felt good to confess to somebody about his guilt at what he hadn't done to protect his mother and his heart felt lighter after crying it all out. Though, a sense of guilt grasped him at not feeling as guilty anymore. He couldn't just give up the guilt, could he? After all, he was at fault. Yet he no longer felt the intense guilt gnawing at him that he had felt hours ago. He trusted Gibbs and Gibbs seemed to forgive him. In fact, Gibbs didn't even blame him for what had happened. Maybe he could forgive himself too. But wasn't that just selfish? His father had always said that he was selfish. "Maybe Dad was right," Tony mumbled, unaware that he had said that out loud and the elder man with an excellent hearing sitting right next to him had heard it._

" _What?!" Gibbs snarled._

" _What?" Tony repeated innocently, hoping against hope that Gibbs would think that he hadn't heard that, though he knew Gibbs well enough to know that he had just handed him the confirmation to the feeling in his gut and there was no way on earth that Gibbs would let him get away with this without a thorough explanation. And sure enough, Gibbs spoke "Tony, you wanna tell me what he said to you and when?" Though it sounded like a question, Tony knew that it was a demand that had to be met immediately so he obediently opened his mouth and retold the events that had turned an average Sunday to one he could not forget any time soon._

 _As Tony finished his tale, his gaze still glued to the carpet as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire world, Gibbs could not believe his ears. How could Tony's own father blame him for his mother's death? He was an eight-year-old boy, for heaven's sake!_

 _Squelching the anger at DiNozzo Senior's actions, Gibbs gently reached out and grasped Tony's chin, forcing him to make eye contact. "Tony, you were only eight. It is not your fault. Anyone in your position would have done the same thing. It's not your fault, regardless of what_ _ **he**_ _thinks."_

 _Tony had no reply for that and Gibbs didn't expect him to. It was going to take a long time to make Tony realise that he was not to blame, after what his father had ingrained in his mind since childhood. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Gibbs sighed softly. 6 am. Despite knowing Tony's answer already, he asked "You wanna take the day off? It's okay, we can handle one day without you. You should rest, Tony."_

" _No, I can't. I need to work," came Tony's expected reply._

 _With another sigh, Gibbs tried a different approach "Alright, but why don't you get some sleep and I'll wake you in an hour, when breakfast's ready?"_

" _No, thanks. Won't be able to sleep anyway. Not today. But thanks Gibbs," Tony replied softly, a small smile of gratitude gracing his face._

" _Alright then, I'll make breakfast. Wanna help?"_

" _yeah…umm…you know, Gibbs, that's why I became a cop in the first place; I didn't help my mother…so, I wanted to help others. It helped with the guilt…I guess," Tony finished uncertainly, having never revealed that to anyone before. Was Gibbs going to hate him for joining the department for selfish reasons? Was Gibbs finally going to realise what an awful person Tony would have to be to let his mother die and then join the police to make up for it? Now Gibbs knew that Tony hadn't joined the force to make a difference or something, he just did it to relieve some of the burning guilt. What would Gibbs say now? Tony wondered anxiously._

 _Gibbs gave a rare smile before uttering even rarer words "For what it's worth, I'm proud of you Tony."_

* * *

As Ziva parked across Tony's apartment building, she decided to talk to Gibbs once and for all and ask him about the sudden partiality towards Tony but before she could even utter a single word, Gibbs unbuckled his seat belt swiftly, exited the car and marched across the street towards Tony's flat without so much as a goodbye. Subconsciously, Ziva's envy grew substantially. Gibbs had given Tony the day off without any reason but refused to let her go despite her prior notice, he then snapped at her, got her to give him a ride to _Tony's_ house and then left before she could say what she wanted to. Gibbs left _her_ to go to _Tony._

With a renewed rage, Ziva started the ignition and sped along the road. Halfway to her home, the sudden vibration of her phone caught her attention.

' _Maybe Gibbs wants to say Goodnight,'_ Ziva thought with a sudden happiness blossoming in her chest. Her eyes glimmering with delight and face shining of joy, Ziva picked up the phone without glancing at the caller ID. Her joy was crushed when McGee's voice entered her ears instead of Gibbs's.

"Hey Ziva. Have you seen Gibbs? He isn't picking up my calls."

"Uh...Yes. I just dropped him off at Tony's. His car broke down. He said he was going to spend the night there," Ziva said, her voice heavy with disappointment.

"Strange. Gibbs was supposed to be helping me with a project tonight. I didn't…oh...never mind. He probably forgot. Thanks, Ziva. Goodnight," came McGee's reply and Ziva didn't miss the sadness that McGee had attempted to hide in his voice nor did the tinge of envy in his tone go unnoticed by Ziva. "Goodnight." Ziva said.

 _Maybe I'm not the only one. Gibbs isn't only mistreating me but Tim as well. He favoured Tony over both of us. Urgh! What's so special about Tony anyway?_


End file.
